So I decided to start a Twitter account. It will just be my musings on raising twins post IF and trying to balance career and family. If you're on Twitter and want to follow me, head over to http://twitter.com/TwinsAfterIVF.

Thanks everyone again for the kind e-mails and posts!

After much deliberation, I've decided to have this be my last podcast episode. This was a hard decision and I will miss talking with you all. But it was getting harder and harder to do. Nap times are a time to get so much done--dissertation, cleaning, etc. I also had mixed feelings about continuing to do this podcast after kids. The last thing I would want to do is have someone search for an infertility podcast and come across someone blabbing on about her twins. :)

I talk this episode about the kiddos turning one--it's a real time of reflection. I'm also getting ready to finish my PhD. So lot's of things are wrapping up--seems like a natural time to end this. I'm hoping to keep these podcasts up for awhile. I know the older episodes may help some others out--especially since there aren't many IF podcasts out there.

Thank you to all who have offered support and words of wisdom during this long journey for me. It helped me more than you know. And to those of you still struggling, I hope you find your happy ending very soon--with the least amount of money and needles possible.

To those of you who found your happy ending--I hope that IF becomes a distant memory but continues to give you the gift that it gave me--perspective and eternal gratitude for what I have. OK, crying as I write this and watch my kids play and laugh. Love to you all!

Another long break between podcasts for me. Things are going well here. Q and S are still growing like crazy and are so much fun to be around. I can't believe they'll be a year next month. I'm in the process of weaning from the pump now. Makes me sad but a year was my ultimate goal and I'm just about there. I talk in this episode about how the guilt you can feel during IF treatments has transitioned to a perpetual mom guilt. Also seem to be having some anxiety around my upcoming future--finishing my PhD? Entering the real world? Who knows!

Another month goes by but I'm still podcasting. :) I talk this episode about suffering from PTSD after a child gets injured (but is OK) and talk about being in limbo right now between getting ready to graduate and finding something to do after that. Things are getting easier and more enjoyable with the kiddos, which makes for more pleasant days. But it is still a ton of work--way more than I ever imagined. Dealing with yet more illness too. Ms. S has her first ear infection. And I also give my take on the whole 8 babies at once thing.

Well another month has gone by and I've finally gotten around to posting. Q and S are growing like weeds. I can't believe they'll be 9 months old soon. I talk this episode about how hard it is to live in 2 worlds- mom and professional/student. I also give you an update on our holidays, talk about dealing with sick kids, and share my resolutions. Also give you my opinion on this article written by someone who knows nothing about IVF. And finally, I talk about a new study showing that about 70% of couples who start IF treatment, have a baby within 5 years.

Another belated podcast from me. I sound like a real downer in this episode. I apologize. I am just feeling drained and have been fighting a cold for a long time. Trying to count all my wonderful blessing though, and get into the holiday spirit too!

A boring update from me. But boring is good right now. No drama, everything is good. I think going through infertility got me used to the crazy ups and downs of life. But I like boring and predictable now. I update you all on Q and S’s 6 month appt: they are huge. I also talk about my feelings on immune issues and infertility. In the end, I make a plea for you all to leave me some comments on the directions this podcast should go. I can’t podcast super frequently so I want to make the most out of each episode. Thanks to all of you who have continued to listen.

A long time no podcast? I catch everyone up on the past month, which has included teeth, solids, and sleep training.

I also end the podcast with tips for moms of multiples--both those who are expecting and those with new babies. Hopefully they're helpful to those of you out there with twins--and singletons, and triplets, etc.

Another quick post from me. Always hard to find time but the kiddos had a longish nap today so that gave me a bit of a break. On this episode, I talk about how fast a year can fly by and how it is strange to look back on the years of IF--especially when I have them all recorded.

Sorry for the long delay. It's getting harder and harder to podcast. The babies take up a lot of time--who would have thought? I talk on this podcast about my big babies (who are measuring at or above the 75th percentile for height and weight for 4 month olds--and that's unadjusted!), getting back to work, and getting out and being more social. And I'm finally starting to admit that maybe I'm a mother.

Back from a week long trip to the beach. It went well and was a nice break. Kiddos were great. Just a quick post this week. I talk about my thank you note to my doc, my upcoming visit from my MIL, and upcoming interviews with nannies. Feeling woefully behind on my dissertation and hope to get some work done on it soon! And here's a pic of our 2 bathing beauties taking a nap.

A quick podcast today. You get to hear some babies fussing in the the background. Hard to get through doing anything these days. But I still think we were very lucky to get 2 pretty easy going babies. I talk this week about my mom's helpful visit and our upcoming trip to the beach. Yay, I finally get to travel. I also talk about how I am making it out of the house more with babies in tow. They're pretty good when I've gone out and it really helps my state of mind to leave the house every once in awhile. And here's a pic of our nursery. It looks kind of messy a lot of the times but you can see the cribs for our little monkey (Q) and our little moon (Sab--ine).

I talk this week about the scares of being a parent--how seeing your child hurt kills you. I also talk this week about sending thank you notes to your IF care providers and visits from the moms (my mom and MIL). And here's a pic for you to enjoy: Sab--ine giving her best WTF look to her brother.

Feeling better this week. Got some sleep and have a little light at the end of the tunnel: my mom comes in 1.5 weeks! Yay! I talk this week about hoping for longer sleep stretches and still not feeling like a mother. Still on smile watch. Think it'll be any day now that we start getting some real smiles and giggles!

I can't believe it. Both babies are asleep. So I have a quick second to upload this podcast. I get a little weepy in this one so I apologize in advance. I am mentally and physically drained and it's hard to believe I have months and months of this draining work ahead of me. But I know it gets easier and more rewarding. And a sleepless night with twins is still tons better than a sleepless night crying over a failed cycle. It's been hard to podcast because every free moment (and there are very few of them) have to be spent doing dishes, laundry, and getting work done on my dissertation.
This week I talk about how hard it was to have a babysitter look after my kids (even though I was still in the house) and how I really miss my husband--even though he's still in the house too. :)

Welcome to my 100th episode! Who knew I'd be at this for 100 episodes? When I started, I was just beginning doing injectables and figured I'd be pregnant in no time! This week I talk about still feeling broken--breastfeeding is not going well at all. I also talk about how motherhood (and getting your PhD at the same time) leads you to feel like you have a case of the should be's (as in I should be...holding the babies, working on my dissertation, doing laundry, etc.). But I am blessed with 2 good babies who are the light of my life. Look at how snuggly they are!

How did those 2 babies fit in my belly? Here's a pic of how they were positioned in the womb. So long time no podcast, huh? It's been a crazy few weeks. This week I give you the audio version of the birth story and talk about the trauma with feeding issues. If I sound a bit incoherent, it's because I'm on no sleep right now. It gets better right? :)
No matter how little sleep I'm getting though, I still love these 2 sweet babies we've brought home. It's the first mother's day where I can avoid spending the day feeling so sad.

So sorry for the delay in posting. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. It may take me a little while to post a podcast but I hope to do it soon. But I'll give the summary here. Because I was strapped to the bed with a zillion different wires, I wasn't able to move around and help labor along.  stayed at 6cm for awhile. Finally, things started to pick up a bit. I really wanted to get things going before 5pm so I knew m doc could be there to deliver me. Low and behold by about 4pm, I was about 10cm. We were in a regular L&D room but my doc told me to start pushing there. It was so amazing to reach that point. I was actually going to give birth! I was pushing well and making progress fast. My doc was worried because Quen--tin (the presenting baby) was showing some signs to distress during contractions. So they wheeled me into the OR. It was crazy in there! There were about 20 people in this small room. They got me situated on the table and I started pushing again. They used a vacuum on Q's head to make sure he was delivered fast. A few more pushes and he was out. It was an amazing moment to look down and watch this baby coming out of me. I honestly thought someone would tell me I was pregnant with monkeys or something. :) They whisked Q away to another room and then they started with the breech extraction of Sab--ine. That was crazy and nerve racking. It seemed to take forever for the doctor to find Sab--ine and pull her out. But they finally got her out with some pushing from me. Then they took her to a spot next to me and I tried to take a peek as they worked on her. As soon as I heard her cry it made me bawl like crazy. They delivered the placentas and stitched me up a bit. We were shocked when we found out that Q was 5lbs 11oz and Sab--ine was 5lbs 6oz. We were also amazed that they needed no NICU time and came home with me. I'll give the full details at the next podcast but just have to say how amazingly blessed we feel and totally in love.