I had my post-op appointment with my RE on Tuesday. What was supposed to be an appointment of me convincing him to allow me to do 3 months of lupron (vs. 1 month), ended up being me explaining how I had been in severe abdominal pain for a week and needed help. I didn't get much help. I got advice to take laxatives and antibiotics. So I've done both and still there is pain. What do I do now? Hopefully the pain will be gone by my next appointment on Monday or he'll have some real ideas. I so want to stop seeing doctors. My faith in the medical community is shrinking with every second.

Well I forgot that I'll be in DC at a conference from Thursday-Sunday. So no official podcast this week on Friday. Instead, I got goofy and did this quick podcsat instead. I was inspired by the fact that between my 2 surgeries and a root canal, I have lost 7 pounds. I can finally fit back into my old clothes. Who knew surgery was such a good thing?

Thanks to my DH for his help on this one. Music by Alexye Nov.

This week has been really tough. Dealing with the endo diagnosis has been extremely rough. Dealing with tons of doctors, pain, and debt has also taken it's toll on me. I'm trying to pull myself up but it's been extremely tough. Trying to find that glimmer of positive attitutde that was serving me so well. Maybe it'll come back once I can walk upright--still healing from the lap surgery.

Hi everyone. Had my lap and hysteroscopy yesterday. No big shock: they found endo. What was shocking is the severity: Stage 3 to 4 all over the darn place. And what's more distressing is that both tubes are blocked. They were just open in June 06. But I think 2 rounds of IVF have greatly increased the endo. My doc was unable to open my tubes meaning IVF will now forever be our only hope. He wants me to do a month of lupron depot and then go straight into a fresh IVF cycle. But he told me all this as I came out of surgery so who knows what's going on. All I know is the loss of any hope of ever having a natural pregnancy is so sad to me. I had such high hopes to try a natural cycle after the lap. I guess that wasn't meant to be. I'll update you all on Friday's podcast. At least we are getting more answers.

Now I'm just posting silly pictures I like. :) Happy 50th podcast episode to me and to you! I can't believe it but it's been over a year of podcasts and this is #50. Time flies when you're...um...sticking needles in yourself? The break cycle continues with a little break for cd3 blood work. It came out MUCH better this time. Both E2 and FSH were nice and low. So I'm back on the pill and will take it this month to get through the lap next week. Then I dive back into the ttc game. It's been awhile now--I hope I remember how to swim?

OK, this image has nothing to do with my post. I'm in a good mood so I searched google images for "good mood" except I mispelled mood and spelled modd instead, which apparently stands for Monkey of Death. Anyway, it made me laugh. And it's totally not appropriate for this week's post since I'm announcing that I don't have cancer. Yay! My good "modd" has lasted and I'm starting to feel like my old, non-IF self--you know, the person who liked to travel, go out, and meet people. Now that I'm doing all of these things, where does that leave ttc? Find out!